santa came to town...

so i went on the drunken santa rampage. was fun, no doubt, but i spent the better part of the morning before going out in reflection. making a list, as it were...

i've been thinking about my circle of love. those close to me, those i call family.

i had 5 which i thought were my inner circle. this is the one just beyond my immediate circle which is filled with julie.

these are people for whom i feel as though live directly in my heart.

i say i had 5.

3 have pulled up stakes.

i feel like an old empty dusty house with outlines on the walls where photos used to hang.

i like to say that those i love stay in my heart until it stops beating. i believe this, i allow this.

does it matter?