oh...
i rise, wipe sleep from my frontal lobes, throw on clothes, and hit the door. half a cigarette and step through the rain to the car.
drive.
out of the car and up the stairs. vending machine coffee in a paper cup.
oh... i have no bowl, so its grape nuts with yogurt in my coffee mug.
tribe.
review blueprints, type reports. shipping checklists and non-conformance reports. this is overdue, so is that, and the project manager drops a friendly reminder. later says he wants me in the field a half day tomorrow. does that delay his other project?
out the door and spark that lighter and stepping through that neverending oregon rain again, i puff hard on american spirits. yellow. the ones i picked up when she was around. what was that... a year and a half ago now? more?
...fuck me.
drive to the bank and grab a sushi plate on the way. back to the office and tribe. the wasabi is unusually hot today, but i am sure it has nothing to do with sex or me having or not having any. post about that.
more drawings and a planning meeting and i should stay late on account of my workload, but i've got an appointment for a fucking massage, man. later.
pack my briefcase and out the door the last time today and the sun shines bright and warms my cheeks.
i pause to watch the canadian geese flying out over the filbert trees.
breathe.
drive.
the sunshine is coming down mostly over my left shoulder as i navigate the hiway along the swollen and fast-moving brown water of the willamette. i noticed the glint of light off of the wet rocks and cliffs on the right-hand side of the road and the massive tree falls along the other bank of the river. reaching the falls the traffic on both sides is slower as all of us, steadfast and committed commuters that we are, look on at the tremendous amount of water crashing over the concrete pilings.
god. that's. power.
oh... i need gas.
fill it. yes, cash.
drive.
i get to the studio and the therapist lays me on my back and works my neck and shoulders hard. i am hyperventilating. the pain is incredible and sweet. my mind stalls, focused on her movements and my reactions.
my heart opens like a cathedral door.
home. eat. phone calls and email.
tribe.
miles davis.
cracking my toe joints.
thinking about a touch a long time ago.
thinking about tomorrow. how much sameness can i take? how much?
...and who am i betting against?
who am i betting for?
it better be me.
oh... sleep would be good.
good sleep would be good.
drive.
out of the car and up the stairs. vending machine coffee in a paper cup.
oh... i have no bowl, so its grape nuts with yogurt in my coffee mug.
tribe.
review blueprints, type reports. shipping checklists and non-conformance reports. this is overdue, so is that, and the project manager drops a friendly reminder. later says he wants me in the field a half day tomorrow. does that delay his other project?
out the door and spark that lighter and stepping through that neverending oregon rain again, i puff hard on american spirits. yellow. the ones i picked up when she was around. what was that... a year and a half ago now? more?
...fuck me.
drive to the bank and grab a sushi plate on the way. back to the office and tribe. the wasabi is unusually hot today, but i am sure it has nothing to do with sex or me having or not having any. post about that.
more drawings and a planning meeting and i should stay late on account of my workload, but i've got an appointment for a fucking massage, man. later.
pack my briefcase and out the door the last time today and the sun shines bright and warms my cheeks.
i pause to watch the canadian geese flying out over the filbert trees.
breathe.
drive.
the sunshine is coming down mostly over my left shoulder as i navigate the hiway along the swollen and fast-moving brown water of the willamette. i noticed the glint of light off of the wet rocks and cliffs on the right-hand side of the road and the massive tree falls along the other bank of the river. reaching the falls the traffic on both sides is slower as all of us, steadfast and committed commuters that we are, look on at the tremendous amount of water crashing over the concrete pilings.
god. that's. power.
oh... i need gas.
fill it. yes, cash.
drive.
i get to the studio and the therapist lays me on my back and works my neck and shoulders hard. i am hyperventilating. the pain is incredible and sweet. my mind stalls, focused on her movements and my reactions.
my heart opens like a cathedral door.
home. eat. phone calls and email.
tribe.
miles davis.
cracking my toe joints.
thinking about a touch a long time ago.
thinking about tomorrow. how much sameness can i take? how much?
...and who am i betting against?
who am i betting for?
it better be me.
oh... sleep would be good.
good sleep would be good.
posted by warpup at 9:07 PM
Stumble It!
2 Comments:
DO YOU remember that night
That you were at the window,
With neither hat nor gloves,
Nor coat to shelter you;
I reached out my hand to you,
And you ardently grasped it,
And I remained in converse with you
Until the lark began to sing?
Do you remember that night
That you and I were
At the foot of the rowan tree,
And the night drifting snow;
Your head on my breast,
And your pipe sweetly playing?
I little thought that night
Our ties of love would ever loosen.
O beloved of my inmost heart,
Come some night, and soon,
When my people are at rest,
That we may talk together;
My arms shall encircle you,
While I relate my sad tale
That it is your pleasant, soft converse
That has deprived me of heaven.
The fire is unraked,
The light extinguished,
The key under the door,
And do you softly draw it.
My mother is asleep,
And I am quite awake;
My fortune is in my hand,
And I am ready to go with you.
after which she promptly calls me and wakes me up.
me: "ughghh"
her: "are you asleep?"
me: "ughgdnhuh, whuuud up?"
and so on...
quite alright, except for the spooking me out about bad energies conversation. i was up til 3:30 before i felt safe to sleep again!!
heh!
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