the day after ow

okey, i really hurt myself yesterday. i spent the first couple of hours just telling myself it needs a few minutes to chill and everything will be fine.

well, that didn't happen. what did happen is my entire leg swelled up and feels like its burning from the inside out.

as i go through the parts of the fall in my mind, i feel in my leg each of the microbursts of pulled flesh. the initial collapse and full contraction of joints under the weight of my body [rip rip rip], the full extension afterward [tug rip tug], and the second weight-bearing foldup job [shearing shearing]. yeah, i took everything that was already tight and tornup and pushed it to the edge not once, but twice.

i'm not moving much or hardly at all. getting to the kitchen or bathroom or the porch for a smoke... its just too much. and i'm worried about kitchen chores and laundry.

interesting thing about pain, how it becomes a focal point to the exclusion of all else.

this sucks.