deep vein thrombosis

don't do it. take my word for it.

*******

i am such an internet whore. i couldn't wait to get down to the lobby once i heard there was internet access. $2.95/half hour, but a junkie has got to do what he's got to do.

on the bright side i could throw this clot at any moment, and die of a pulmonary embolism. ...and yet i choose to spend my time here, with you, rather than the james bond marathon on amc.

i am learning to give myself shots of lovenox (luv-en-ox), a blood thinner. go figure... the guy thats always going on about love needs an injection of something called lovenox.

i hope my heart can stand it, as i've already been bleeding out of it continuously for the past two years.

*******

so i head into my doctor's office this morning for my weekly check, and he's curious as to why my leg is still swollen like a wiesswurst. he orders an MRI.

MRI lab can't get me until tomorrow, so he sends me over for an ultrasound just to be sure.. i know something is up when the technician won't tell me what she found.

next thing i know, i am admitted to hospital and everyone is very concerned for my well-being. it takes repeated descriptions and explanations for me to grasp the situation.

this could kill me.

at any moment.

but... just to make sure i wasn't thinking too deeply of my own mortality.... they placed me on the oncology ward.