having the wrong dream?

so my dreams of a speedy recovery are dashed against the rocks of modern science and statistical probabilites.

i had hoped to return to work today, but doc says no.

i had hoped to begin physical therapy and excercise tomorrow, but doc says no.

i had hoped to get a massage and a hot tub, but doc says no.

so.. more days of elevated leg and passing time within these four walls.

i am feeling better, the pain has subsided to tolerable. i can bear weight on the leg again (and as i mentioned prior, take stairsteps again), every day is an improvement. i just want to start working on the flexability again. my range of motion is severely limited.

at least i don't have to take the injections anymore. my inr is down to 2.0 which is the low end of the scale (i need to be between 2.0 and 3.0), so i will be bumping up my coudamin dosages for the next four days.

paramount to me, though, is the question of "what is the risk of embolism now?"

answer: low, because of the drugs i am on, but still there. the development time for the body to re-absorb the clotted tissue is two to three weeks, and its only been a week.

long term prognosis: scar tissue has developed in the vein and will be troublesome for the next six to nine months. this is why i have to take the coumadin for this period, to keep from creating more clots as the scars heal. after that, i will have problems with the vein and leg for the rest of my life, including swelling, discoloration, pain, and poor circulation.

i hope i am at the thin end of the bell curve on this one, baby. the good end. the end where things go smashingly well, even better than expected.

my track record thus far has not been stellar, for certain... but can't a boy hope?

now, where the hell is my naturopath?

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6:38
for the silliness and passing the time, only two questions, and nailed me pretty well (thanks michelle!):

"I am affectionate and skeptical"

Questioners are responsible, trustworthy, and value loyalty to family, friends, groups, and causes. Their personalities range broadly from reserved and timid to outspoken and confrontative.

How to Get Along with Me
Be direct and clear.
Listen to me carefully.
Don't judge me for my anxiety.
Work things through with me.
Reassure me that everything is OK between us.
Laugh and make jokes with me.
Gently push me toward new experiences.
Try not to overreact to my overreacting.

What I Like About Being a Six
being committed and faithful to family and friends
being responsible and hardworking
being compassionate toward others
having intellect and wit
being a nonconformist
confronting danger bravely
being direct and assertive

What's Hard About Being a Six
the constant push and pull involved in trying to make up my mind
procrastinating because of fear of failure; having little confidence in myself
fearing being abandoned or taken advantage of
exhausting myself by worrying and scanning for danger
wishing I had a rule book at work so I could do everything right
being too critical of myself when I haven't lived up to my expectations

Sixes as Children Often
are friendly, likable, and dependable, and/or sarcastic, bossy, and stubborn
are anxious and hypervigilant; anticipate danger
form a team of "us against them" with a best friend or parent
look to groups or authorities to protect them and/or question authority and rebel
are neglected or abused, come from unpredictable or alcoholic families, and/or take on the fearfulness of an overly anxious parent

Sixes as Parents
are often loving, nurturing, and have a strong sense of duty
are sometimes reluctant to give their children independence
worry more than most that their children will get hurt
sometimes have trouble saying no and setting boundaries


take the test here!