power struggle

i dont talk about my energy and what its doing.

rather, i try not to.

it can come off as embarrassment or aloofness, the not talking about it. i can see that, but thats never where i'm coming from.

its more basic than that, its a feeling of wanting to maintain the primal.

for example, i'm having a conversation with a person and they say "woah, you just sent all this energy over here, like wahvoom!" [makes motion of a moving sphere with hands]

i think (or rather try to not think), great. thank you. i'm breathing still too, its just something that happens. i dont control it, and just let it roll out there. ...but wouldn't the experience be just as great, maybe better, if there were not words assigned to it and it was an elemental feeling?

i mean, if i poured you coffee, you wouldnt jump up and say "wow! you poured me coffee!" you might, there are some of you... okey whatever. you might comment on the coffee, you might say something about the aroma, or if you wanted some cream... be that as it may...

i dont talk much during sex. i communicate, sure. big time. but with little or no words. laughter is usually a good sign, as are a hundred thousand other groans and grunts.

hold something nameless, and we're playing with an aspect of god.


or


is it better to become conscious of it, excercise it, and use it for those pre-frontal and frontal drives and desires?