labels

a lot of things come with labels telling you whats in the box/carton/bottle, warnings, contradictions, and even perhaps how to use the thing.

what's on your label?

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Contents: Adult Human Male
Serving Size: 1
Servings per Container: 1
Active Ingredient: Warren

Uses:
Primary observer and propagation of authentic myths. Increase harmony and love with one heart. Display with integrity light and dark aspects.

The function of Warren may change over time. Please query the twenty-four hour helpline as to the current status.

Warnings:
Do not mix with anger, violence, betrayal, or hatred. Does not respond well to falling or pushing. Keep away from metaphysical psychotronic babble (MPB). Use at your own risk.

Directions:
One Warren is all you'll ever need. Hold steady. Open with freedom. Question lightly. Infuse with laughter and hugs for full effect.

Storage and Health:
Keep warm. Flourishes in secure atonomy. Keep teachable.

Troubleshooting Section:
Q) Warren appears off for long periods of time.
A) Reset with I Love You and a hug.

Q) Warren appears distant.
A) He is actual size. Reset with I Love You and a hug.

Q) Warren makes no sense.
A) Query lightly. Reset with I Love You and a hug.

Q) Warren does not respond.
A) Reset with I Love You and a hug. Repeat and Hold.

Warranty:
As is, where is. No warranty expressed or implied. Guaranteed only for the life of the human male. Do not return Warren to place of purchase. No refunds or exchanges. Replacement parts are not currently available. No deposit/No return.