Hawk-ing up for gulf war III

my personal feeling is that the phrase 'ugly american' is going to mean something entirely different for the 21st century than it did in the 2oth.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/4955430.stm

i don't know if its the end of the world or not. frankly, the world would likely get on just fine without us.

i am troubled that my fine nation, by beloved republic, my ideal of ideals, is at the root of FUCKING BURNED UP CHILDREN.

this bothers me. my pursuit of happiness is stymied.

there's time to turn this bus.

i believe. can you?

what do we do? who do we elect? what streets can we own? towns, cities? hearts and minds?

gaah.

six by six

as requested on sandy's blog, six things weird about me:



1) contrary to what you might gather from my sometimes rather personal writings, i am a very private and shy person and yet i blog, journal, and write like crazy. i feel that those that know me very well, i can count on a single hand.

2) i worry that my fascination with melancholy may be indicative of a larger depression, though i do not consider myself to be depressed. i recognize that i am occasionally slow to smile, and slower to laugh... but this is only because i believe it is better to expect the worst and be pleasantly suprised than to expect greater things and be horribly disappointed.

3) i am a terrible speller. I do know how and where to use capitalized letters when writing, but I am simply too lazy to strike the shift key.

4) anything you say to me can and may be used against you in a future altercation or argument.

5) I do not consider myself a liar, however one of the above statements contains an outright lie, and some others are stretches of the truth. Others still are completely truthful. there might be inherent clues as to which of these are which, but I will not reveal the veracity of any of this to anyone.

6) i create. i think that's pretty fucking weird.

now... i would like to hear six weird things from anyone reading this blog. go on, you know you want to.

bonus weirdness. i also figure i might be a lesbro.

double-bonus weirdness. i collect pop culture icons of the devil.

i almost

pulled out the ol' ?compare::contrast? this morning, for a number of reasons. one was i couldn't think of anything better to say, and the other is that i'm digging around for new/old material for my next creative endeavor.

the very real danger in all of this is getting caught up and rescreening of the trainwrecks. this is no fucking joke, and as serious as it gets. i know enough about myself to understand that it is impossible or nearly so for me to be dispassionate about damn near anything, much less my own foibles, history, and stories.

it is better to revisit something after some time has passed and the heat of the blade has dissipated out into the darkness. hit it sharp with the spotlight of today's energy and it looks haphazard and weak.

the key is to not look too closely.

fix my gaze upon those thoughts from so long ago, and they build and charge with newfound life, drawing the heat of life from my present and rebirthing all that tumult in a twitchy embryonic plasma that if left unchecked... grows larger than my ability to control.

the key is to glance.

...or perhaps take a page from the actors' set and look upon those events as from the balcony of the theater. the play unfolds before me and i am the critic of this poorly produced and haltingly executed performance...

idiot. its still the fucking trainwreck.

there's only one seat in the theater, and its front and center pal.

but then again... william james had this to say:

"The stream of thought flows on; but most of its segments fall into the bottomless abyss of oblivion. Of some, no memory survives the instant of their passage. Of others, it is confined to a few moments, hours or days. Others, again, leave vestiges which are indestructible, and by means of which they may be recalled as long as life endures."

hrmph.


better choices.



i'm not fished out, but warren makes better choices today.

i love rainy portland mornings

fourteen hours of sleep. ahhhh. wow, i must have been toast. either my body is thanking me, or taking revenge.

ideally, i'd get up, drink a large glass of water and do some yoga. some sun salutations at a minimum.

actually, i make my way to the kitchen, eat some of the bread and brie i left out last night, throw on my best saturday morning wrecked artist look and go get espresso. back home and have a ciggy on the porch.

either way.. life is good. *muah!*

labels

a lot of things come with labels telling you whats in the box/carton/bottle, warnings, contradictions, and even perhaps how to use the thing.

what's on your label?

********************

Contents: Adult Human Male
Serving Size: 1
Servings per Container: 1
Active Ingredient: Warren

Uses:
Primary observer and propagation of authentic myths. Increase harmony and love with one heart. Display with integrity light and dark aspects.

The function of Warren may change over time. Please query the twenty-four hour helpline as to the current status.

Warnings:
Do not mix with anger, violence, betrayal, or hatred. Does not respond well to falling or pushing. Keep away from metaphysical psychotronic babble (MPB). Use at your own risk.

Directions:
One Warren is all you'll ever need. Hold steady. Open with freedom. Question lightly. Infuse with laughter and hugs for full effect.

Storage and Health:
Keep warm. Flourishes in secure atonomy. Keep teachable.

Troubleshooting Section:
Q) Warren appears off for long periods of time.
A) Reset with I Love You and a hug.

Q) Warren appears distant.
A) He is actual size. Reset with I Love You and a hug.

Q) Warren makes no sense.
A) Query lightly. Reset with I Love You and a hug.

Q) Warren does not respond.
A) Reset with I Love You and a hug. Repeat and Hold.

Warranty:
As is, where is. No warranty expressed or implied. Guaranteed only for the life of the human male. Do not return Warren to place of purchase. No refunds or exchanges. Replacement parts are not currently available. No deposit/No return.